Mommin’ ain’t easy….

Don’t let the title fool you… this will not be a post about how hard the responsibilities or the actual day-to-day life of a mother. It’s about time… and how it knows no patience and moves quicker than I can sometimes handle.

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Nathan is my youngest of two, today is HIS day… his eleventh birthday! I could not be more proud of the character, the personality and the brilliance of my ‘little’ Nate. He is so sweet, so kind and caring! When I think about all the awesome wrapped up in such an adorable boy… I am so thankful and again just incredibly proud!

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The older my boys get I miss the baby giggles, rocking them to sleep, the cute stages of growth and discovery… and before you say it, I also miss crying and the late night diaper changes. I miss all of the dependency on mom and dad. They’re getting SO big and while they still need mom and dad, maybe more than ever, it’s different.

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From day one, he’s been exceptional. The day he was born was a b l u r… so fast and unexpected! I woke Chris up in the middle of the night because I was having strong and steady contractions. We were very cautious because it was still early… Nate wasn’t due for a few more weeks and with Christopher I had issues with pre-term contractions. Not Braxton hicks… but pre-term labor. So we decided to go into the hospital at the advice of our midwife because with Christopher I had to be given medication to stop the progress of labor… so this made us extra careful with Nate – I was already high-risk. Chris and I had suffered the loss of a unique ectopic pregnancy just before we became pregnant with Nathan.

We started to load up the car with everything (lesson learned from the first born… always be ready) and asked our friends to watch over Christopher, as we figured we would be back home before he would even wake up! As we loaded everything up, the pain got so severe I had to just get in the car and sit down… it was intense. My face even started going numb… at which point Chris turned our minivan into an ambulance and quickly got us to the hospital, running 3-4 toll booths on our hour+ drive. We get there and are quickly informed that Nathan’s on the way… no stopping him now! But there’s a problem… he’s been upside down and backwards for weeks now and they want to turn him, manually.

I’ll save most of the gruesome details but turning him did NOT work and was the MOST painful thing I have ever experienced… even more painful than childbirth. So emergency c-section it was! I remember being so excited and yet SO scared at the same time… Nathan’s heart rate had begun to slow so everything moved FAST.

Chris is the absolute best man ever for many reasons… but he is specifically my knight in shining armor when it comes to keeping me calm and melting my fears away. The second he was whisked into the operating room I was ok! And before we knew it, Nathan was born. March 12, 2007. He was a little premature but the doctors were confident that his lungs were strong and just wanted a few days to monitor him in the hospital so we stayed a little longer. This also worked out because he was tounge-tied too, so we remedied that during those extra days too. We went home with our healthy little boy 6 days later.

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Since the day he was born, he’s smiled and laughed his way to who he is and where he is today. He continues to amaze Chris and I every step of the way! We’re excited to see the man he’s growing into, but still just reminisce about him being the cute, cuddly little baby boy who brightened so many of our days. I feel like I’ve only blinked since he was born and today he’s 11?? This is what makes being a mom so hard is you feel like you’re rushing, busy, you’re doing this, doing that… practice here or there. Somedays you turn around and time has left you standing there in yesterdays makeup, holding a pair of pants that your child can’t even wear anymore asking yourself where did the time go?!

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I started my journey as a mother a lot earlier than most considering Christopher was born when I was just 18 years old. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason and I know why my boys came into my life when they did… I’m so thankful! Many of my childhood friends are just now starting their journey as parents and it brings back so many memories of my ‘babies’ that are now as tall or taller than me. I continuously reflect on the wonderful memories we have made since they were small… which is wonderful, but also hard. It’s hard to face the reality of how quickly time moves on! Some moments you pray with a passion that they’ll just hurry up and pass you by and then others you want to last a lifetime. Looking back, they all only last a moment… a second and then you blink and find yourself in another phase, another moment.

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I just wish I had a clicker… you know a remote. I’d love to be able to select chapters to relive, go back and visit whenever I wanted. Today I’d go back to the day Nathan was born, the nights I spent in the rocker with a hungry boy fighting to stay awake, the day he first learned how to giggle, the day he discovered his feet, that time he threw up all over me, his carseat and his brother in Target, his first steps, first day of school, when he first rode a bike… you get the picture. I’d relive it all… the good, the bad and the ugly because all of it led us here to the eleventh year and taught us so much along the way.

To my Nate: You change the world little by little every day and I know your impact is only going to grow, just as you do. Be fearless in everything you do because your heart is going to lead the way… be braver than brave. Continue to be kind and use your heart for good, listen to it… it’s always true. Know that you can be ANYTHING you want to be…. I know you want to be a Marine Biologist… and maybe you will… but know that you can do ANYTHING, be ANYTHING and do not ever let anyone tell you different. Your dad and I love you more than you’ll ever know and support you always.

Xo

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