I cannot tell you how trying it can be to be a parent… I mean it is by far the most wonderful thing I have EVER done and they are my everything. There’s not enough time in the day to profess my love for them here… but you get it. I love being a mom and I can’t imagine life without these crazy boys. Chris and I are so beyond blessed and we’re thankful!
However. It’s HARD. I’m talking cry in the bathroom, run outside to scream and bang your head against the wall hard. And I hear all the time ‘well it gets easier as they get older…’
It just gets different… the challenges change. But getting easier?? I’m not so sure I agree. Just as they’re changing so are we as parents… as people, we’re all growing together. Let’s throw into our personal family mix… military deployments and dad being gone… lord have mercy. The emotions that run through this house are always on high. Boys need their dad and I’m not him nor do I try to be, they have him! But we’re are here, and the wheels on the bus do not stop when he’s gone! So we have to keep it going for dad! Emotions, learning and growing – all of it, the good, the bad and the ugly. You’re all in!
As a family we have always been close knit… we’ve been through so much over the years! It’s something that I would not ever change though because it has made us so close and so strong! There’s not a thing we can’t get through together, as a family! We are ONE! This doesn’t mean it’s all sunshine and no rainy days… like I said… it’s hard. And I know we’re not alone… which leads me here:
I’ve been through a little bit of a rough patch lately with the boys and I really got to thinking what I could do better. They’ve been arguing with each other, not listening to me… just in their own little worlds. Doing less to help me out or not doing things when I ask. Which is always a struggle of course… but now just noticeably worse. HA!
The more I thought about it (which I’ve told you guys how I recluse and think before) I realized… I needed to spend more time with my boys. We needed to reconnect! We’ve become self-absorbed and therefore annoyed with each other. What happens when you become distant with someone, a spouse? You get annoyed and argumentative… you’re growing apart!
So think about how you try to reconnect with your spouse… what do you do?? You spend time with them, you talk and spend some one-on-one quality time right?! You schedule date night!! I thought it was worth a try anyway!
So I started this weekly routine of hinting to the boys that I’d like to do something and get out of the house! They run with it! Before I know it we’re out the door and headed to do
something fun and something they WANT to do! While we’re on our mommy & me date… of course, NO phone and NO games! We talk, we laugh and we dream! REAL conversations! And they can’t just inhale their food and hop up like they do at home… they’re stuck with me!
TIME! COMMUNICATION! ATTENTION! How simple right?! All this time I thought just ‘momming’ at home and dinners at the table would be enough. Which not saying they are not important… but I think there is just something about getting out of the house and it being a special occasion makes it different! They’re so adorable too… opening doors and doing things they really should be doing ALL the time. But it’s giving me confidence that they’re going to make some pretty little ladies really happy one day! I look forward to my dates with the boys!
No… of course this isn’t the magical answer to everything. It has made a HUGE difference though. BIG time.
Every day there is SO much going on in every direction, constantly, I feel like we forget to pay attention to what we should be. We miss little details at home, days go by like seconds… Ever looked down at your phone or at the T.V. only to look up again to notice an hour went by?! Two?! Our kids are no different. Time stops for nobody…. I mean good grief Christopher is going to be 14 this year… Nathan 11. Wasn’t I just pregnant with them YESTERDAY?! Feels like it. Eh… maybe it’s just the ever lingering baby weight. But still time flies.
Hug your babies, date your kids and give yourself a pat on the back. You can’t be perfect… just try your best! Parenting is HARD.